disappointments

I guess it’s about time for me to be dealt some cards of disappointment and indeed I was with the recent news of:

1. My friend Adam, an energetic young amputee in my village, who I am trying to help procure a prosthetic leg, caught for making a primary student pregnant. Moreover, he already has 2 wives. At first, I thought, well now I certainly can’t help him. If I forgave him, it would be making this terrible, unforgivable act, right. No, I realized, forgiving makes ME right. Anyway, more to come on this subject. He’s apparently hiding in Makambako, avoiding his inevitable capture by ward leaders. If he refuses to assist this girl financially in raising her child, he will be sent to jail, so they say. I wonder if I’ll see him again, biking to town as he always did, pedaling furiously with one leg, his arm clutching his crutch for balance…

2. 3 girls from my Secondary School being tested positive for pregnancies and consequently, expelled from school (and the 2 youngest classes haven’t been tested yet, so there very well could be more)! I am still reeling from this one, greatly pained at what this means for their lives, their futures. They are no longer girls, but have entered motherhood. To make things worse, there are whispers that one of the 3 was impregnated by one of the primary teachers from Manga, behind my house. In fact, the culprit is rumored to be the youngest teacher, Boscoe, who lives directly behind me. Uhhh. So disappointing. I remember in a previous blog, I mentioned this behavior being practiced by primary teachers in Kifumbe, Amanda’s village (my closest PC neighbor) and was disgusted. Now, I’ve realized it’s even going on in my own backyard…literally. What is it with these teachers getting away with statutory rape, but which is perceived as child play here in TZ? Why isn’t it perceived more seriously, like as a criminal offense? I fail to understand why the law isn’t more rigid in cases like these. These teachers should not be allowed to teach anymore. End of story. Instead, they’re typically slapped on the hand by village leaders, and then allowed to continue teaching students, no doubt tempted to repeat previous behavior. Unbelievable…I guess this is why our PEPFAR (Bush’s Emergency Fund for AIDS Relief) funding is so keen on supporting the education of teachers in Tanzania on issues such as HIV/AIDS since they are setting the worst example for the next generation of Tanzania.

Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box, but I have to share about the lecture that ensued from these 3 girls’ misfortune at the Secondary School yesterday. So, when I arrived at school before my health lesson, I sat down with the Headmaster to express my concern and distress over the situation. As a result, he planned a meeting for all girls after school at 2:00 pm, to be paneled by me, the school counselor, a young female teacher in her 30’s, and himself. I was honored to be included. The Headmaster first addressed the recent expulsion of these 3 Form 3 girls due to pregnancies, encouraging the girls to be vigilant in order to avoid such dire consequences.

He mentioned things such as how experts recommend using condoms to avoid pregnancy and HIV, but that clearly, the church doesn’t agree; the church only recommends such use to married couples as a birth control method. Thus, teaching about condoms in school is not appropriate, according to him, an extremely devout, fundamentalist Christian. I adore him, but he refuses to listen to me when I tell him thousands of studies have proven the more options you give high school youth for prevention, the better. Letting them decide for themselves is best and will avoid unwanted pregnancies, transmission of STD’s and HIV/AIDS, even death. Shouldn’t we as Christians fight for life over death? He disagrees, arguing that teaching young students anything other than abstinence will only encourage sexual activity. This, unfortunately, is a very common (ignorant) view held by most in the educational field in Tanzania. And this explains why I am yet to use my wooden penis and box of condoms I came to site with as a health teacher. My sole opportunity to do a condom demo may just be with adults at the health center.

Then, he offered me an chance to address the girls, so I told them in Swahili how sad the news made me feel as a health teacher, but more importantly as a young woman, that these girls will no longer be able to continue their education, enjoy the freedom of youth, or reach their goals career-wise (if they had any). I told them that they had a responsibility to fight off these distractions, to focus on their studies and keep themselves busy with activities/sports if they felt tempted. If boys were bothering them, using the typical lines begging for sex, they needed to stand up with confidence, look them in the eye, and say, “I’m not interested, I’m a student.” (I know this may sounds silly to you Americans reading this, but you can’t imagine how shy and reserved most young girls are here; you will usually see them looking down at the ground, not making eye contact) I read some of these typical lines used by boys from my PC health book in Swahili, like “If you really love me, you’ll have sex with me,” “If we’re going to get married anyway, what’s wrong with having sex now?” or “You won’t get pregnant if we only do it once;” clearly, they all knew now, this was not true; pregnancy is always a possibility. They laughed and agreed how right on these sayings were in their own school. They laughed again when I said boys in America even use them. It provided some nice cross-cultural discussion:).

I also came with a list of ways to delay/avoid sex, such as “avoid going to places alone where you couldn’t get help,” “play sports, get involved in school activities,” “go to events with friends,” “do other things to show affection other than sexual intercourse,” etc. It was cute hearing the Headmaster’s translation of these tips. For the last, he suggested going for walks, dancing and eating together. I’m not sure that’s what kids do here, but anyway…

Lastly, the Headmaster insisted on preparing them with self-defense methods if they were ever stuck in a rape situation; unfortunately, he did so in English. It was unfortunate because it made me die laughing; I was literally crying inside by his word choice, making me realize how silly I must sound during my health sessions in Swahili. He said, and I quote, “if a man wants to do sex with you, pretend you want it, and then before the penis touches your secret organ, catch it, bend it and pull.” There were many other classic lines, but I’ll leave it at that for now. That just about says it all.

He also encouraged them in the case on nonconsensual sex, to look for scars/markings on the man’s body as evidence. Even pictures or letters from a boy/man may prove helpful in a later case, he said. Rape or forced sex here is an honest, everyday worry for young girls. If you look at HIV/AIDS graphs of age groups most infected in Africa, it’s always older men and younger women-hmmm, I wonder why? It was at this point I realized again, just how blessed I was to grow up as a young girl in America. The dangers Tanzanian girls must worry about were not real concerns to me growing up, thankfully. My heart goes out to them. What more can I do as a health teacher here? I’ve felt SO powerless in the midst of this recent disappointment. Honestly, I feel like more needs to be done to change the behavior of men than anything else. I can empower girls all day long, but until the boys/men change, nothing will change.

To keep this from ending too somberly, I have to add that following this intensive meeting finally ended at 5:30 PM (more than 3 hours later), and my stomach was SCREAMING, I was led to my favorite teacher’s house for a big, steaming plate of dagaa. Dagaa, for those of you who haven’t been lucky enough to be quenched by it, is like a small dried-out sardine that appears somewhat hairy, originating from the depths of Lake Victoria. It’s essentially fish skin with no meat at all, cooked with tomatoes to cut the pungent fishy taste. It’s what I feed my dog. Enough said. I couldn’t even force an ounce down. And I tried, real hard.

Although I may not have been satisfied physically, I was quite content with how the meeting went and all that was said to the girls that day. That’s exactly why I’m here, I thought, as I biked home, smiling and starving.

Happy September-enjoy the fall and that lovely crunch of the leaves,
Tait